Do I ever get Lonely?

Travelling by yourself has great rewards but I can't help being alone at times. Is this ok? If you are an American and reading this you might wonder to yourself, "I wouldn't be able to do this - I need someone with me or I would feel alone".

Let's first examine what does it mean to feel alone/lonely. Here's what Merriam Webster has to say:

1 a : being without company : LONE
b : cut off from others : SOLITARY
2 : not frequented by human beings : DESOLATE
3 : sad from being alone : LONESOME

In my mind being alone and without people around you does not necessarily constitute loneliness. Its what you do with that situation or how it affects you which can equate into loneliness. Let's take a look at my experience.

I don't know where to start on this topic but I'll do my best with the skill I have. I reflect upon my time away now and think to myself, overall, what is/was my feelings and did I feel lonely. My answer is, "No". I hope I am saying this with honesty to myself and not in denial but I truly never really felt lonely.

There was one day, my first day in fact, in Mumbai, India where I completely felt isolated and a bit depressed. I flew in from sunny Cairo and landed in a raining, pissing, muddy, moldy, mosquito infested hotel - the only place I had the energy to search out. Every time I went out of the hotel I found myself invaded by handicapped beggars and dog-like hustlers while getting poured on. It was unpleasant to say the least. I left the very social, sunny environment of the rooftop Dahab Hotel only to find hotels with no social environment - just rooms. I felt a bit of shock; who wouldn't? I knew I needed to get my bearings - surely there's a better place to stay, I thought. I got myself out and about, became a bit more clever on avoiding the hustle, met a few travellers, found a better hotel and later got the heck out of Dodge.

I look back on that experience and can't really say that I felt lonely as much as it felt just plane environmentally stuck. It wasn't about people as it was just my own dilemma. And this is a feature of travelling - getting yourself into something and growing from it. Fortunately for me, it wasn't mold.

I think for us westerners we have a habit nowadays of demanding comfort. If we feel any sort of unpleasantness, we go insane or at the very least, get very nervous/anxiety. Our flexibility is narrow. But we don't realize that in order to recognize happiness, we must know what suffering feels like - that uncomfortability that we spend our whole lives avoiding. You know how it feels when you're with your loved one and without time away or time of your own you start to take things for granted. Then when you are away you see the whole picture; you realize just how special someone is despite their shortcomings. We cacoon and shelter ourselves from these crazy situations for what? For fear that what? I mean, what is the worse thing that might happen? We die? Do we really fear that we might die? Shouldn't we trust ourselves enough to know we are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves? Or is it just fear of the unknown?

For me, it was a bit scary to leave everything behind and venture out of my shell. I've asked myself several times (although not anymore) "what am I doing?". But I knew to gain a new perspective on life, I needed to get away from it all. Its clear to me now what value I've obtained from my trip and it just makes me feel more that there's so much out in the world that we can all learn from. If I do become lonely, its a small price to pay for all that I've gained. And with having a travel partner around I would have never met all the lovely people that I stumbled upon. Without a crutch, you can walk. Without a car, you can go anywhere. And its amazing what you can do with little money. Let go of the side of the pool and swim - your body knows how - you just have to believe.